10 random facts about me

Since its 10.10.10, i figured i would write down 10 random facts about me. so here goes:

1. i love books (kinda obvious). my taste in books is eclectic, depending on my mood.
2. i love music. i love to sing, was a choir member all throughout my elem, HS and college days, until now that i am working, i am still part of the not so active company choir =)
3. i am an only child. i would like to believe that i am not spoiled or bratty. but when i do get my moods and my bitchy self comes out, i use the excuse that i am an only child, so i naturally have a license to act bratty =P (well, the excuse does come in handy haha!).
4. i sleep most nights with music in the background. it kinda helps put me to sleep (insomniac alert).
5. i remember a lot of things: facts, names, events that happened in the past, but i tend to forget birth dates, except for those people really close to me (but sometimes, i still do =P).
6. i love the color blue. when shopping my eyes automatically look for blue stuff.
7. despite the fact that i am quite sickly, i have never been confined in a hospital (proud!).
8. i cannot sleep without a water bottle (or pitcher, or glass) beside me. i wake up in the middle of the night thirsty.
9. i love spicy food. i eat most of the time having fish sauce as my sawsawan or soy sauce and calamansi, both with siling labuyo in it =)... my mom said my yaya while growing up was bicolana, thus i was used to eating spicy stuff since i was a kid.
10. i dont like bananas ... as in! but i can eat the occasional pinasugbo from iloilo =) that's about it .. my taste buds and my tummy and bananas are at odds, they really don't get along! ... my nutrition prof in UP said it might be psychological (hhhmm, pwede ... psychotic naman ako paminsan =P).

there you have it, my attempt to do something 10-ish this 10.10.10 ... hhmmm, it was kinda hard to put it together though ... have to stay clear of the emotional things to keep the list factual, well except for the bitchy self entry haha! ...

i am invincible

i am invincible
i feel i am so, i know i am so
i am invincible when i know what i'm doing
when i know what steps to take
what to look for, how to solve a problem,
how to decide what's best.

i am invincible
when i can control things,
the outcome of an experiment, a study
when i can say with certainty
"approved without thinking"
when i can decide with my eyes shut
without even needing to see, feel, hear, more than once.

i am invincible
when i know i am right
when i know that those i love
are behind me no matter what
i feel invincible

when i feel loved, trusted, appreciated

when people say i can do things i normally cannot do
when people say that i have potential
when people recognize something in me
that I myself cannot see.

i am invincible ... or am i not?
at this point, i feel cracks in my walls
a tremor in my solid ground
as doubt begins to take seed and fear starts to knock.
my fortress is being besieged
by forces i cannot control
by forces i cannot fathom
loneliness, anxiety, sadness, doubt, fear
enemies i have no known protection for.

am i invincible?
i hope to the heavens i am
whatever made me think i am, i need those now.
but before i regain my strength
i need to repair my fortress
fill in the cracks, stabilize my foundation,
refill my ammunitions.
i need to find my center, my passion,
my inspiration, my purpose.
and for these, i need more than just time ...
i need myself to be whole.

am i invincible?
i hope to God i am
with every fiber of my being
i hope and pray that i can overcome this siege
i need to outrun it and outlive it
for me to regain my strength.